Hezekiah Walker's book —Destiny

Below is a select transcript from Hezekiah Walker's book Destiny, published by Whitaker House. (Reprint by permission.)


Dream It...Declare It...Do It.
DESTINY

CHAPTER THREE
The Pain of Change

Why is my pain perpetual
—Jeremiah 15:18 (NKJV)

I remember a few years ago when a brother in our ministry started dating a young lady who attended our church. They were a pair to see. Everyone, including myself, thought they were the perfect match. They just fit together so well that it seemed clear to me and everyone around them that they were destined to be together. They dated for two years, but with no sign of an engagement on the horizon. Finally, I approached the young man one day and asked him about his relationship with this young lady.

I told him that everyone was expecting him to make an announcement about their engagement. I said to him, "She's waiting, I'm waiting, everyone is waiting to hear it! Why don't you marry her?"

He went on to explain that in the natural, she was all he could hope for. She was attractive, she was intelligent, she had finished college, and she had a good job. She was all he could ever want in the natural, he said again. The problem, he said, was that during the two years they had dated, he had been watching her spiritual development. He shared how he was disappointed to see that this young lady was not maturing in her walk with Christ. So he said, even though they appeared to be the perfect couple and even though in church she appeared to be a strong Christian, he just knew they were not compatible spiritually.

He told me how he was struggling to end their relationship. He knew she wasn't meant to be a part of God's plan for his life, but at the same time, he genuinely loved this girl and wanted her in his life. Finally, after much prayer, he did what he knew he had to do to stay in God's will for his life. He ended the relationship.

This change in his life brought him great pain. He was heartbroken and felt the bitter sting of severing a relationship with someone he truly wanted to be a part of his life. But that wasn't the only pain he felt. The young lady's family turned on him and accused him of stringing her along and using her. Members of the congregation also criticized him, saying he was doing the wrong thing and that he and the girl were meant to be together.

The young man felt the pain, and it must have cut him deep, I'm sure. But I saw him continue to seek God's will for his life and to rest in the fact that he had done the right thing by letting the girl go. It wasn't long before the young man met another young lady in the church. This girl, in the natural, didn't appear at all to be someone who would be compatible with him, and people told him so. Again, a change in his life brought the young man pain. But as before, he sought what God wanted for him, and he came to the determination that the girl he was now dating was the one for him. People told him she wasn't the right one, but he didn't listen despite their painful words.

The man married the young lady, and I can tell you that he has grown spiritually by leaps and bounds since she entered his life. He is now a minister in our church, and I can see that his wife is a spiritual rock in his life, a vital support for him. She is someone he would have never shared his life with if he had let the pain others inflicted on him influence his decision to end his relationship with the other young lady. That young lady, by the way, has backslid and grown weak in her faith.

The young man decided to follow God's plan for his life despite what others said and expected of him. When it was time to make a change, even though it was very painful one, he did it, knowing that he was honoring God with that decision. And he is better off today for it because not only does he have a wife who is a perfect spiritual match for him, he is also a more mature Christian and still on the path of destiny that God placed him on.

See, change will come to all of us. Sometimes, we are directly responsible for the changes, while other times, things will change around us no matter what we do or don't do. Throughout our lives, we will face change in three major areas: ourselves, the people surrounding us, and our situations in life. More than likely, each change will bring us some level of pain. Remember, though, that experiencing any level of pain can't compare with going through the suffering and rising to another level in Christ. With that in mind, let's take a look at the area of change in which we may very well experience the most pain: ourselves.


Take a Look in the Mirror

I heard the tale of a man from long ago who developed a daily ritual from which we could learn a valuable lesson. This man would rise early each morning, eat breakfast, and then dress in a finely tailored suit. Before stepping out the door, the man would always stop in front of a full-length mirror-the only mirror in his house-and check his appearance. Each day, he would gaze at himself in the mirror and smile, thinking, "That's what's up!" (as the young people would say). Time went by, and because he knew himself to look the model of perfect appearance, the man decided to take down the mirror and replace it with a large portrait of himself.

So from then on, the man stopped in front of the portrait before for work. He'd smile and whisper, "The picture of perfection, eh?" Day after day, he did this, and all day long, he thought himself to look like the man in the portrait. Then, one day, the man put his shirt on and noticed it didn't quite fit as nicely as it once did. The same went for his trousers. The man figured that he simply needed some newer clothing and went straight to his tailor. The tailor sized the man up and told him his measurements. The man's jaw dropped. "Impossible," he cried. "Where is a mirror?" The tailor pointed to one on the far wall of his shop.

The man walked quickly to stand in front of the mirror. He stopped and looked upon himself in the glass. He shook his head. "There's something wrong with your mirror!" he shouted at the tailor. "I don't look anything like myself in it. I just looked at my portrait this morning, and I looked the same as I always did!"


Change Your Ways

This story may seem silly to a lot of us. It does seem ridiculous for a man to measure himself by what he once was without allowing for possible changes in his life. The only thing is, we do the same thing all the time. I'm not talking about the way we think about ourselves physically, necessarily. I'm talking about the way we think, the way we handle ourselves emotionally, and the level of spirituality we maintain in our lives. So often, we become so set in our ways that we think we have it all figured out, that we are right on target in our thinking and in our beliefs. We think that we're never wrong and that it's always the other person that could use some changing for the better. If we ever do get to such a place in our lives, we need to stop and realize that the person that needs to change the most is the one that looks at us every day in the mirror. We need to look in the mirror and find out where in our own lives we could change for the better.

The "mirror" that we need to keep looking into is the one that is spoken of in the James 1:25. We need to gaze into the "perfect law of liberty" James wrote about and see ourselves measured against what God wants us to be. Obviously, being fallen human beings, there are going to be areas in our lives that will need to be changed. We will also most likely need to change the ways we think so that we can have the "mind of Christ" (1 Cor. 2:16). But this will take time and effort, sometimes painful effort, as we choose to renew our minds each day and turn our backs on the worldly thoughts that try to dominate our minds (Rom. 12:2). The pain of change is always worth it because we will become more like Christ and learn to think godly thoughts that glorify the Lord and keep us close to Him, which means we will stay in His plan for our lives.

We will also need to be able to change the way we believe. This is often a very painful area of change in our lives. So often, we get to where we think we have this or that figured out theologically, even if we don't consciously think that. Maybe it's something we heard a preacher speak on one day, and we took it for the truth without actually looking into the Scriptures ourselves. Then, one day down the road, we are challenged to expand our belief in that particular area. It may seem to go against everything we've learned and thought we knew. Maybe the preacher hadn't said anything in error, but we just kind of took it and started to build a theology out of it. When the day comes to change this particular belief, it can be a painful process to expand our so-called theological box and make room for something new and different. But if we are to grow in our knowledge of God, it will mean growing in our understanding of Him and His Word. This, in turn, demands that we make room for change in our beliefs. No one is perfect in their theology because none of us is God. So we are going to have to be flexible enough to go through the pain of change in our beliefs because if we don't, we will find ourselves straying from the plan of God for our lives.

Another area that can be a painful change for us is that of our emotions. So many of us have emotions that need to just get kicked out the door. We probably don't think we do, but all of us could probably find some emotion that tends to get us into trouble. It could be our tempers. Think about how someone's temper will hurt not only them, but all of the people around them. And I don't mean just physically. Uncontrolled anger can severely hurt those it is aimed against. It can cause scars that last a lifetime. An emotion like this can do nothing but keep us from walking fully toward our destiny because all it does it hinder our spiritual growth. It has to go. But it won't be easy. Getting rid of a dangerous emotion, whether it's a bad temper or raging jealousy, means we are going to have to change. We are going to have to make an effort to change our ways. We may even have to go through the pain of finding someone to help us with this change. But it's all worth it because it will make us more Christ-like, which means we're going to keep growing spiritually and advancing toward that destined place God has called us to.

I don't think I need to even tell you that the thing we of course need to change the most is the sin we live consciously live in. I know that uncontrolled thoughts, poor theology, and even bad emotions can all be considered sin. But I'm talking about those things we do in our lives that we know are without question sinful. These sins have to go, brothers and sisters. I know they can hold us in bondage, and I know they can have great power in our lives. It may seem like you've dealt with the same sin for years. But deal with it again! Sin means we missed the mark spiritually, and if we keep on sinning, we are just going to erode the foundations of our faith. As it says in Proverbs 14:34, "sin is a reproach to any people." If sin is allowed to remain in a person's life, you can believe that spiritual laziness and a backsliding spirit will soon follow, which of course means that we will quickly fall by the wayside of God's destiny for our lives.

Is getting rid of sin easy? Oh, it's easy to be forgiven of sin. Christ did all the work for our forgiveness when He died on the cross. But getting rid of sin in our lives is another thing entirely. It will mean crucifying our flesh daily, choosing to live in holiness even when our mind or flesh is crying out for gratification. It will mean, maybe, turning our backs on people we consider close to us. It will sometimes mean seeking out someone to help us find our way out of the maze of sin. In other words, it will mean pain. But the pain is nothing compared to the glory that shall be revealed in us as we find ourselves that much closer to our destiny!

In fact, we need to consider that remaining in our sin is going to bring us even more pain. Not only will it destroy us spiritually, it could very well destroy us physically and mentally. And it can also inflict pain on those around us and those who are connected to us. Sin brings shame and heartbreak on all those we love and consider close to us. It's just not worth it when you look at it from a point of staying on the path to our destiny!

Another area of change that few people probably think about is that of changing our lives to stay in God's divine will. Obviously, we need to get rid of wrong thinking and sin in our lives if we are to abide in God's will. I'm talking about making a change in life when we know God is specifically telling us to do it. More often than not, this will come to us as a part of His plan for our destiny. The only problem is that such a change will mean more pain in our lives, and we know it, too. That's why so often, we choose to just avoid what God is calling us to do next. We are comfortable where we are, and we don't want to have to step out and face something new and different. I know it's happened to me.....